Sorry You You Didnt Win Try Again
Inside: Aid your child who hates losing learn how to lose gracefully without the fits of anger and disappointment.
"I'm going to win! I'chiliad going to win" My eight-year-old beams from the other side of the table.
With the game board covered in trains and cards strewn all over the flooring, nosotros're near done playing our new game, Ticket to Ride
My son is alee in points and he'south downright giddy.
My husband pipes up, "okay, I'm out of trains, information technology'due south fourth dimension to count upward our points."
We kickoff counting and moving our pieces around the board with each point we've made.
Then it happens. My son stops counting, he's done, and I go along going and end up passing him by ten points.
He looks at me. "Mom! How did you practice that?! I was winning!!"
Tears well up in his eyes equally he yells "I've lost! I've lost!"
He sits on the couch behind him, arms crossed, huffing, and glaring at me.
I tempt fate and get sit down quietly next to him and I put my arm around his shoulders and gently pull him closer to me.
He pulls abroad and growls "I'grand such a loser."
Man, this child hates to lose.
Sigh.
I put my hand on his back and say "I'm and then distressing you lot're upset that you didn't win. Yous played actually well and you thought for certain yous were going to beat us all. At present you're disappointed."
"Yes! I'one thousand disappointed! I wanted to win!" my son says through clenched teeth.
"Okay buddy, let's talk about this. There were four players and you came in second identify, that's pretty expert. You besides had a really fun time playing the game and y'all actually thought yous were going to win. Information technology can exist and then frustrating when things don't turn out the mode you await. I understand yous're mad.
You'll get better equally y'all play more, and you'll win shortly.
Tell me, did you accept fun playing?"
He sighs, "Yea, I like the game. I just wish I could have won."
"I hear you lot buddy, would you similar to play again and keep trying?"
He heads over to the board and starts clearing off the pieces and quietly responds with, "Yea, I'd like that."
This is a VAST comeback from his usual response of yelling, crying, and running to his room in a huff.
My son is a perfectionist and losing is hard for him, merely information technology'due south something we've been working really hard on.
Helping A Child Who Hates Losing
Losing gracefully without big explosions of anger and frustration is hard for kids, especially for kids who are always striving to be perfect.
But every bit parents, there are things we can do to help our children handle the defeat well, without getting angry ourselves.
Demonstrate Salubrious Reactions
Teaching by example is one of the simplest and most effective ways to assist children control their reactions to losses.
Let them see you overcome disappointment, congratulate winners, and hold your caput up loftier when y'all find yourself in defeat.
Point out how well the winner played and besides the things you were proud of in your own performance.
Don't Ever Let Them Win
Many parents make a signal to allow their kids to win to aid build their self-confidence.
Though this can be a good arroyo on occasion, children can't learn how to lose gracefully if they never experience thwarting.
Once they are out in the "existent world", in that location will come a bespeak where they aren't going to come out on top and that can be a tough lesson to acquire on the fly.
Now, don't pummel them every time they win, they need to learn how to be a proficient winner besides. Just, a loss from time to time will assistance them learn how to lose gracefully.
Analyze without Blame
Spend a piffling time talking about why they lost the game or match and what they could accept done better.
Focus on places that they tin can improve and praise the strengths of the winner without being accusatory.
Teach Them The Ability of "All the same" and How to Get Into A Growth Mindset
"Withal" is i of the about powerful words in English Dictionary.
When my son yells something like "I can't win!" I just answer with "Yet! You can't win, however."
Even so is where we start to sympathize that we tin can attain things nosotros just aren't quite there still.
Teach your children the ability of "yet," and that with effort and practice, they will be able to master the game (or math problem, cartwheel, or any other hard affair).
One of the best resources I've found to teach children about Growth Mindset and the power of yet is the Big Life Journal. It'due south a Growth Mindset Journal for kids.
The 5-day challenges are pretty astonishing too.
These challenges helped my son acquire the power of "however," which is why he was ready to attempt once more when he lost Ticket to Ride 
Equally he sat upward the lath again for the next game, nosotros talked about strategy and why I had won the concluding time.
He'd be happy to tell you lot that in that second game, he legitimately beat me by 14 points.
He was able to win considering he didn't give up and he learned from his previous loss.
More than for you:
- In Defense of the Loud Spicy Family unit
- vi Parenting Books That Will Change The Way You See Your Kids
- The Most Powerful Response When Your Kid is Comfortless.
Source: https://messymotherhood.com/child-hates-losing/
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